Personal Space
Posted by donna under Mommyhood | Permalink | | Leave A Comment | 5 Comments
I am all about the personal space. I hate it when I feel someone in a line is crowding me – I have been known to make myself as big as possible by standing with my feet wide apart, and my swinging my bag backward swiftly, so anyone too close will get a whack. I used that trick on the New York subway with my first kate spade handbag, as it was square and had really good corners for swatting off space crowders.
Even in my personal life, I like my space. I am not a cuddly sleeper. Well, of course I’m not anymore, now that I sleep alone. But when I was married, I didn’t enjoy the all-night spooning that the EX seemed to want to do all the time. I like a few minutes of cuddle time, and then I want to sleep unencumbered. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to be hugged or touched.
Lately though, Betsy has taken to hurling herself at me, and wanting to sit with just about every inch of her pressed up against some part of me. And I want to be accommodating to this, I really do. But on days like today, when she woke me up at 5:30 and has been talking nonstop since then, and I have PMS to be perfectly candid, and I’ve had to pick up the same damn toys over and over and over again, I just don’t want to cuddle.
I am trying to do it anyway, because I don’t want her to feel like I’m rejecting her. And I know that one day she won’t want to cuddle anymore, and I’ll be missing these days. Don’t get me wrong, we do cuddle plenty and it’s perfectly wonderful and heart warming. Sometimes, though, it’s just too much. And I feel horribly guilty for not being able to just drop my own issues and give her what she clearly wants in those moments.
12:32 pm, 18 August 2010
I definitely get this way. I feel like I’m about to stand up abruptly, showering children to the floor and then perhaps kicking them away from me. AAAAAAGGHH STOP TOUCHING ME AND BEING **ON** ME!!
3:13 pm, 18 August 2010
I am completely this way. I don’t cuddle when I sleep and though I do like to cuddle my kid at times, the moments when she is in every bit of my personal space makes me nearly claustrophobic sometimes. It’s hard breathe.
9:41 pm, 18 August 2010
I hate being crowded when I sleep. I rarely let the kids sleep with me and whenever I do, I regret it. I don’t mind cuddling with them if I’m not trying to read or do something that requires my hands and arms to be free, but everyone’s different.
Don’t feel guilty because you are who you are. When you respect your own needs and boundaries you will teach B that its OK to say what you need and expect others to listen.
10:18 am, 19 August 2010
I am this way too and I often feel bad about it. Even worse, it bothers me more when son tries to snuggle than it does when daughter tries to snuggle. But he is huge! I’m very small; he’s nearly 6 and over half of my weight. And he puts his huge self on me and wants to cuddle but also CAN’T STOP FIDGETING and ARGH: ANNOYING.
So basically it seems you’re not alone in your need for an uninvaded personal bubble.
3:07 pm, 21 August 2010
OMG – I have SERIOUS personal space issues. I almost got into a bar brawl a year ago because some redneck kept bumping into me and I kept politely asking her not to knock into my bar stool especially because the bar wasn’t that crowded and long story short apparently I’M the bitch. It wasn’t pretty. Also? My poor neglected cat throws himself on me everytime I come home. I love the little bugger but dude: Do you have to sit on my face?