Betsy is with the EX for the weekend. I spent today lying around, cleaning and just enjoying the silent company of my dog.

But around 4:30 or so, I started to get antsy. I wanted to go OUT. Must have been withdrawal from the excitement of last weekend in New York. I decided to take myself out to dinner – something I have never done before.

I don’t mind doing things alone. Going to movies alone is one of my favorite things to do when Betsy is not with me. I used to do that even before the divorce. I can see whatever I want to see without having to worry what the other person thinks. I can sit where I want in the theater without someone’s opinion of where the optimum seating is, and I can eat everything or nothing as I choose.  When I was working, I would even go to lunch alone sometimes. But I have never gone to dinner all alone. Even when I would travel for work, at dinner time, I would either order room service or get something to go and bring it back to the hotel to eat.

So tonight I decided to just do it. I dried my hair, straightened it, put on makeup and a dress, and took myself out to dinner. I sat in the bar, positioned where I could see the comings and goings of other people, or I could feign interest in the golf on TV if I needed to. My waiter was attentive and adorable, flirting with me a little more with every stop at the table, although I realize it was only to increase his tip. It worked. I had a martini (with which I silently toasted Rougie as she celebrates her birthday tonight) and a salad, then dinner, and finally dessert and cappuccino. I didn’t rush, I  savored my meal and my coffee. I enjoyed myself.

Sure, it would have been more fun to have someone with me to chat and laugh with. But I still had fun and a nice meal that I didn’t eat in front of the TV, and one I didn’t have to clean up.

Add that to my list of things I never thought I could do but I did.