phatDonna

So after writing my last post, I have come up with one very bright side to my whiny complaint. I mean, besides the obvious fact that I will be visiting Venice and three amazing cities in Croatia.

Are you ready for it?

FOR TEN WHOLE DAYS, I DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANYONE’S URINE OR EXCREMENT BUT MY OWN.

For my friend A, with whom I am traveling: I love you, but I will not be wiping your ass on this trip, no matter how drunk we get.

A week from today I’ll be in Venice. As in, Italy.

I KNOW!

This is so weird and exciting. And although I am terribly excited, I’m also fretful and scared and nervous.

I feel guilty for taking this much time for myself. Ten days is a long time, especially for a three-year old to be without her mom. It’s not that I think she won’t be well cared for, but she’s going to miss me. I know, I know, I know. It’s very important for Betsy to see that my life doesn’t revolve around her. I NEED a life outside of being her mom. But she is too young now to understand these things. She’ll just know that she wants me and I won’t be there. I’ve never been away from her for this long, or this physically far from her. I know I’ll have fun. Trust me, I know that. I don’t need to reminded of that. And I certainly am aware of how lucky I am to have the opportunity so no snark about it must be nice to have my problems. I realize this isn’t a true problem. It’s just an opportunity for growth, and don’t most growth opportunities hurt just a little bit?

Now. Who wants to teach me some Italian real quick so I’m ordering pizza and not asking to see someone’s penis?

I was recently offered an opportunity to be part of Buy-Her, a site started by Miss Britt. I jumped at the chance, because, let’s face it, I love to offered my unsolicited opinions.

My first review appeared today, and I’m giving away TWO InStylers. Go check it out!

Don’t you hate it when you have a seemingly insurmountable problem, one you struggle with for what seems like ages and ages, one that has you almost literally tearing your hair out? Of course we can all agree that sucks elephant balls.

Well, add to that the feeling of complete incompetence when the solution hits you over the head and you have had it in your power to solve the problem all along.

Lately Betsy’s behavior has been HORRIFIC. Not just bad, but all caps, bold and italics bad. The kind of bad that made me wish I could invent a time machine, go back in time five years and have my tubes tied. It hasn’t helped that she’s been having potty accidents at night, which have led to minimal sleep on both our parts. Patience has been at an all-time low. Last night she wet the bed twice. The second time, my sleep deprived brain was out of options. I put her in fresh panties and PJs and brought her to my bed. Where she proceeded to kick and squirm, chatter and gab incessantly before finally passing out again. Exactly five minutes before my alarm went off. To say that we both were a wee bit cranky this morning would be like saying it was a bit damp that last night on the Titanic.

When I picked her up at school today, she was in a foul mood. I thought for sure we were in for a rough six hours before bedtime. So I put on the kid gloves (Ha! That’s kind of a pun!) and tread carefully. And you know what happened? She was an angel. Well, as much of an angel as Betsy is capable of being. We did puzzles, we played with toys. I just held her in my lap for a while.

My poor kid has been starving for attention. I’ve been so busy with work lately that even when I’m with her, I’m really not engaged with her at all. I take care of her basic needs and I punish her for bad behavior, but I haven’t been interacting with her much. I’m ashamed to admit that. I know how social Betsy is. How could I forget this about her? How could it not be obvious that she has been seeking attention – good or bad?

I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to work this out going forward. Work has to be done and I don’t have a partner who can take on the dinner dishes, or doing bath and bedtime. I’ll have to juggle things. Maybe I’ll get a bit less sleep but I think for now I may have to just deal with it. Betsy has been through a lot in the past year, and although she’s seemed to have just rolled with it, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s still processing all this upheaval. Hell, I’m 36 and I’m still not done processing it.

I guess maybe it’s good you don’t have to take a test in order to become a parent, because sometimes I think I would have failed it.

Can’t talk. Had a massage today. In a puddle.

I was very excited to get a massage today. The last one I had was in January and since I tend to carry my stress around in my shoulders, I really should get them far more often than that. So when I saw the Groupon in my inbox for an 80 minute Swedish massage for $55, plus a gift card for $15 toward another service, I jumped at it. By the way, if you haven’t signed up for Groupon in your area, you really should. It’s free to sign up and the deals just come to your inbox. If you aren’t interested you just delete them. But I’ve gotten this massage, a really inexpensive portrait sitting for Betsy, and last week I got a Fandango movie ticket for $4. You never know what kind of stuff it will be, but it’s always worth a look.

Anyway…. so I had my massage today. I love a posh spa. I’m not a fan of the popular chain massage place (whose name I will not mention here but if you have them in your area, you probably know who I mean) because it just seems like a massage mill. I don’t feel relaxed or pampered, just rubbed. And not in the way that you go home and write about in your diary. I want to wear a robe and slippers and sip cucumber water in a darkened room with groovy soothing music and the scent of lavender in the air before my session. I want to have my therapist bring me a cup of tea right afterward and invite me to sit and enjoy the relaxation lounge as long as I want. That’s what I got today.

I was actually very pleasantly surprised because when I met my massage therapist today, I thought he’d never be able to deliver the goods. He was a very small, older Asian man. I probably could have killed him by sitting on him. I never thought his hands would be strong enough to really work out the knots in my shoulders. Boy was I wrong! He got all the knots out of my shoulders, and he did it in such a way that it didn’t even hurt while he was doing it.

For me, a really good massage lets me get into a totally relaxed, almost meditative state. I can’t seem to reach that same state any other way because my brain won’t shut off. But wow, today I did. I will definitely go back and I will definitely ask for the same therapist. I couldn’t tell you what I thought about, if anything, during the massage, but it left me with a clearer head in addition to relaxed shoulders.

I’ve been asked for an update on Gracie, and I can’t help but oblige.

She is awesome. I love her so much and I’m so glad that I made the decision to open up my heart to another cat.

She continues to be a love bug, she kneads on me and in my hair, which can be annoying in the middle of the night, but it’s so sweet. She puts on a nightly Kitten Olympics and Acrobatics floor show and that is crazy adorable. She’s also not shy, and so far has come out and been social with the few people who have been over.

Betsy is still pretty rough with her, and she gets in trouble for it. It’s not intentional and she’s not being mean, she just LOVES the kitty so much she can’t keep her hands off her. Betsy has been scratched a couple of times in retaliation, but all in all, the cat has a great deal of tolerance for Betsy. If I were Gracie, I’d have gone all ninja on Betsy’s ass about a week ago. But she hasn’t.

One of my hang-ups about getting a cat was the litter box. Bowser is a notorious lover of Kitty Box Krunchies, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to find a solution to keep him out of the litter box. But I discovered the Clevercat litter box, which is basically a storage container with a lid on top that forces the cat to jump down into the litter box through a hole in the top. Gracie has had no issues with using it, and Bowser can’t get his head through the hole. Although I have no doubt that he has tried.

So far, knock on wood, Gracie doesn’t have a problem with scratching. That’s my main fear because our previous two cats were big scratchers and destroyed carpet. She does scratch on my kitchen rug and the door mat at the back door, and she does use the cardboard scratcher I bought her, but so far I haven’t seen her scratching on carpet. I’m keeping my eye out for that.

I really couldn’t be happier with her. We got lucky with her, no doubt about it.

Preferably this one

Can I put him on my Christmas list?

The EX has Betsy all weekend, so I’m free of most responsibility this weekend. Today was spent very lazily. I read, I napped. The TV remained off so no Yo Gabba Gabba or Olivia has invaded my psyche or given me any earworms.

And despite my headache today, thanks to the changing weather (seriously, does anyone else get these horrific headaches when the weather changes? It’s like the air pressure is squeezing my head in a vise!) I realize that this weekend will be exactly what I need. Quiet alone time today, tonight and tomorrow filled with talking, laughing, eating and drinking, and also a trip to the movies to see Going the Distance, and then Betsy comes home on Sunday.

School starts for Betsy on Tuesday, and this will be the first time she goes five days week, so I’m a little nervous about how she’ll do, but I think she can handle it. The question is – can I handle it? Five days a week of cranky morning Betsy, making a lunch and rushing her out the door? I hope we both survive the first week.

I hope you all out there have a fun and/or relaxing long weekend. Eat, drink and be merry!