phatDonna

Today I’m counting my blessings.

• My friends and family, who to me are one and the same.
• My health and the health of my friends and family.
• Organ donors
• Creature comforts, like a roof over my head and food to eat, chocolate covered pretzels, my UGG slippers and my InStyler
• The fact that I get to put up my Christmas tree tomorrow. Or maybe tonight. Or maybe in a few minutes.

I’m having a quiet day today, which is just fine by me. I hope you all have a great day and have too many blessings to count.

I am unapologetic in my love for the holidays. I can’t comprehend why people get their knickers in a twist about Christmas decorations being up early in stores and malls. I mean, it’s fun! And pretty! Why should we all have to wait until after Thanksgiving to enjoy it? Why limit ourselves to just three weeks of holiday sparkle?

I’m also an avid shopper. If it wouldn’t make me sound even more like a princess (ahem!) I would list it as one of my hobbies on my online dating profile.

But I do not understand for the life of me all this Black Friday mess. I can find no reasonable excuse for getting out of bed at 2 am on what is a HOLIDAY for most people to go fight off the masses to get a toy for ten bucks off the normal price. The thought of the pushing, shoving, elbowing, and just generally being rubbed up against by strangers in Target makes my stomach turn. I am not sure if there is any sale price you could offer me on ANY item that would entice me to participate in Black Friday shopping.

Honestly I’m sitting here playing a game in my head: If Target had X item for Y price, THEN would you get out of bed for it? Every item and price combo that pops into my head makes me think, “Nah. By the time I got there, they’d all be gone anyway. I’ll choose sleep.”

What about you? Are you a Black Friday kind of person, or more of a Cyber Any Other Day of the Week kind of person?

Back in August when I was hopped up on the newness of cute kitten, why didn’t you all remind me of all the cat things that are so damn annoying? Things like:

Trying to dart out of or in to every single door that is opened;

Running down the stairs and getting in between my feet as I am going down the stairs, almost killing me;

Instantly defiling a sparkling clean litter box as soon as I finish cleaning it;

Knocking shit off my counters constantly; and

Attacking my feet under the covers when I am asleep, thereby scaring the ever loving shit out of me.

I mean, I love this cat, and she fits into our family  and puts up with the abuse Bridget heaps on her under they guise of “playing with kitty.” But wow, the phrase “Dammit, cat!” is coming out of my mouth more and more often these days.

Good thing she’s cute.

OK, back when I started this site, I was trying to maintain a bit of anonymity and some space from my previous life. My EX is somewhat well known in the social media community and so I NEVER use his name. But I think I’ve got enough distance here that not many people who read this now know whose ex-wife I am. And I make no effort to hide my real name.

So why am I still calling my kid by a pseudonym? It’s confusing to me, quite frankly, and every time I write a post, I obsess over re-reading it to make sure I haven’t called her by her real name. And I don’t really know why. The other day I used Networked Blogs to show my blog on Facebook, and now it really just makes no sense.

My daughter’s real name is Bridget and I will henceforth call her by her real name.

That is all.

Today Betsy is four years old. I have to say that I have been waiting over a year for this, since a handful of people told me that life with a preschooler gets better when they hit four. I won’t lie. Three was hard for me. There were some really bad days with Betsy when I thought I would lose my mind. I recall one night sitting on the couch with my head in my hands, as she repeatedly kicked her bedroom door and screamed, that I thought of calling The EX and telling him he could have custody so I could run away to Tahiti and enjoy some peace and quiet. Thankfully that moment passed.

We have rounded a corner. I can’t say that it’s always good, but it’s good enough that the bad days stand out in my mind as being out of the ordinary. Her listening is just getting much better. She understands more when I explain to her why she can’t do something. Yesterday morning when I told her to go brush her teeth, she actually said “ok!” and then went and did it. I looked around to see if I was being punk’d because that literally has NEVER happened before.

I have truly and honestly never met a person as happy and cheerful as Betsy is. She wakes up happy, she jabbers and plays and gives hugs and kisses freely. I am quite sure this will change come the junior high years but it’s lovely now. She loves everyone and has never met a stranger. In fact, I’ve taken to calling her the Prom Queen because of the way she interacts with people. I picked her up from school early one day a couple weeks ago, and as I was walking her out, we had to stop several times so she could hug a classmate, and we exited to a chorus of “Bye Betsy! Bye! See you Monday!” and she just walked out waving at her friends.

She loves people fiercely. Even if she’s only met them once. About a month ago, she played with three little girls, nieces of our good friends, and to this day, she asks about them and asks me how they are and if they can come over for a play date or a sleepover. She also has a really special bond with my parents, which I couldn’t be happier about. I never had a close relationship with my grandparents and it was always something I wanted for my kids. That’s part of the reason that I still drive 200 miles to Dallas every seven weeks to get my hair done. Yes, I love my Timothy, but it’s also a reason to go see my family very regularly so she feels at home with them and really KNOWS them. She bakes with my mom, and helps my dad in the yard and in the garage. She has inside jokes with them and talks about them all the time when they aren’t around.

Betsy is also ridiculously funny. She loves telling jokes, and while they aren’t necessarily very funny, the gusto with which she delivers her punch lines coupled with her belly laugh is just contagious. She also has taken to doing voices, and sort of gets accents and tries to do them.

This is the first year we’re giving her a birthday party beyond a family get together. I always said that I wasn’t going to do a full on birthday party until she was old enough to want it. Well, she certainly wants it this year. I had hoped to get away with one more year of not doing this, but here we are. She’s so excited about it, and that makes all the organizing worth it. Remind me of that Saturday night when I’m up until 3 am putting together goodie bags for the party guests.

I am so thankful we have hit four. This is the first time since she was about two and a half that I really feel like I have a handle on this motherhood thing. I know that it won’t last, and there will soon be something else that comes along that knocks the wind out of me where she’s concerned. But for now I am just happy to be able to enjoy her again. She’s a great kid and I make sure to tell her that every day of her life. I’m sure when she’s 43 it will bother her immensely but I’ll still do it.

Betsy and her faithful friend Gracie the Cat

This weekend, I went to the movies TWICE! I KNOW! Can you believe it? That used to be no big deal back before having children, but now, getting to any movie is rare, much less two in one weekend.

Saturday, as I was walking from the parking lot, I caught my first whiff of popcorn. And I vowed to myself that I would not get any. I do this every time. I promise myself that I will not get popcorn. I don’t want popcorn. I don’t NEED popcorn. Yet every time I go to the movies, I break down and buy the damn popcorn. Because it smells so freakin’ good. Even though I know I don’t want it, that I’m not even hungry, and that I will be disappointed in the popcorn, I can’t resist that heavenly aroma.

This also makes me think about all manner of movie theater snacks.

Obviously the first and most popular is popcorn. I have been known to choose a theater based on their popcorn, if distance and showtimes are both acceptable.  The one closest to my house that I go to most often has so-so popcorn, but they have the self applied “butter.” That sounds great in theory but I don’t like it because you can never really get the “butter” spread throughout the bag. I prefer it when they do the “butter” behind the counter, because you can ask them to fill it half-way, put on the “butter” and then fill it up and “butter” it again. Tastes much better that way. You’d think that knowing that I’m going to a theater with so-so popcorn with the self service “butter” would ensure that I don’t get any, and yet I always do. Damn it.

Candy and drinks are also traditional, but I will never understand why the sizes on the drinks and popcorn are gargantuan and so expensive. Why not have a normal size at a normal price? And have you ever noticed the teenagers always try to up-sell you to the large sizes? It’s only a quarter more! Why would you NOT want to do it? Because I don’t want a drink or a snack I could swim in.

Hot dogs and nachos have been around in movie theaters for a while now, and while I never get them, I guess it makes sense. Sometimes your movie is showing around lunch time and maybe you didn’t have time to eat before you came. I guess I get that, although I’ve never eaten movie theater hot dogs or nachos. They just look gross to me. But then again, I’ve never eaten a hot dog or nachos from a convenience store either. Gross.

Can someone please explain to me why giant pickles are movie snack food? Does anyone in their normal life at home, just sit in front of the TV and snack on pickles? I like pickles, but they are always a side or a garnish, not a snack. I guess it’s relatively healthy (if you ignore the sodium) but still. Weird.

I liked our old theater in Dallas that had a small cafe  in it, so you could get more “real” food to eat in your movie. They had chicken strips and hot dogs that weren’t on those roller things for days on end, and pizzas and sandwiches. They were expensive, and it took forever, but it was a good option. I wouldn’t ever say no to some mozzarella sticks while watching a movie.

But I cannot get this. I don’t understand it and I never will. Why, oh why, do they need to serve Starbuck’s coffee drinks in the movie theater? I am truly stumped. And highly annoyed because at my local theater, I always end up behind the person who orders some fancy schmancy coffee drink from a clueless teenager who has never made the drink before, and they have to call the manager over, who has to call Starbuck’s headquarters in Seattle for help making the damn thing. I just want my Coke Zero and Twizzlers (and a popcorn against my will). Can we move it along please?

What about you? What do you like to get at the movies? And more importantly you agree with me that lattes and popcorn do not go together, right?

I know I rant about it ever year, sometimes twice. But I will rant about it again. Because one day in, and I have kept quiet as long as I can about this.

First, we are going OFF Daylight Saving Time, not on. Daylight Saving Time is over. We are now on Standard time.  So when you are venting about hating Daylight Saving Time right now, you are really just hating the switch back to Standard time.

And lastly, it is not Daylight SavingS time. It is not a bank. It is Daylight SavinG Time.

</rant>

Today I dropped Betsy off at school. This took a supreme act of will on my part because I feel like hammered dog shit. But I knew that if I could just power through that part, I’d have five glorious hours where I could sleep and not worry about her cutting her own hair (again) or setting anything on fire.

When I walked in, I noticed a new bulletin board up with little ships obviously meant to be little Mayflowers for Thanksgiving. Each little Mayflower had written on it what the child was thankful for. Since there is only one Betsy in her school, when my eyes fell upon her name, I knew it was hers. It said, “I’m thankful for giving my mommy a hug.”

Thanks Betsy. You made my year.

This post is full of unicorns and rainbows

I’m a bit shocked to say that my good mood and positive outlook from last week continues. I figured that once the newness of everything wore off, I’d be back to my old pessimistic ways, but that hasn’t been the case.

I’m looking forward to the holidays, I CANNOT wait to go to Disney in a little over a month, I’m actually getting a laugh out of being on a dating website, and I just impressed myself by buying a ticket to the Mom 2.0 Summit in April. That’s a big deal because I don’t know anyone going. I’m not rooming with anyone and I have no one to use as a crutch. I will have to meet people and make friends and find people to do things with. The ticket is bought and I can’t sell it so I’m committed now. And I know it will be fine.

All this isn’t to say that I don’t get annoyed, or that life is perfect. Right now I’m sick. I have a fever and every muscle in my body hurts, as does my skin. But I’m functioning somewhat, and I’m not wallowing. I got a fountain Dr. Pepper, which is my cure-all for a sore throat, and I have Betsy about convinced that she wants to let me nap on the couch for a bit while she watches some TV.

I just feel good for the first time in a long time. I’m so thankful for that.