Lately I’ve been having this overwhelming feeling of… happiness. I’m not sure when it happened or how it happened, but it has happened.

I really don’t mean to be all unicorns and rainbows on you all. I still get mad sometimes, I still get scared. I have no idea how I’m going to support myself financially in eight months, or what I’m going to do with my life. But I feel confident the answers will come. They always do. I won’t let it keep me up at night right now.

I think maybe this is what is helping me stay so motivated with my goal to run the half marathon and to finally lose this weight I gained when I ate every feeling I had about my divorce. It doesn’t seem like a chore. It doesn’t seem like something I’m trying, hoping it will make me happy. It feels like taking care of myself. It feels like taking responsibility for my future health – I WILL fight my family tree and not end up with Diabetes. I’m able to do it because I’m happy.

I’m also accepting things about myself that I always thought were crazy or just silly. I used to feel silly admitting that I need copious amounts of sleep, especially being around people who brag they function normally on six hours. I used to joke that sleeping is my biggest hobby. Maybe it is, but like a hobby, it makes me feel good.  And if I need a nap to feel better, I won’t give myself hell for being lazy. I will recognize it for what it is – taking care of myself.

Are you all vomiting now? Sorry for that.

No one take away my happy pills, though, ok? They are key.